gem garden

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Make new friends but keep the old – one is silver and the other’s gold.  If you were a girl scout in the late 90’s then you might remember that little rhyme about making and keeping friends. Problem is, my husband doesn’t think the little ditty holds any truth.

We were having brunch on Sunday, and I mentioned that I was joining a new book club.  Jon reminded me that I’m already in two.  Yes, yes, but they only read one book every 3 months, so it’s very manageable.  Okay, but what about your new photography class and your Junior League stuff?  And will you still have time for your volunteer commitments and yoga?  I justify that everything lands on different days and fits together quite nicely.
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And then Jon explains: Joining is kind of like making friends – you don’t want to spread yourself too thin.  He says I should focus my time on building close friendships with the people that I care about the most.  In a similar fashion, it’s generally best to master one thing before experimenting with anything else.  A matter of quality over quantity, really.
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But as for me? I love meeting new people and making new friends and introducing everyone.  The more the merrier, right?  Same thing with hobbies and activities – I’m always eager to dive-in and try something new.

So what’s the right balance?  Maintain an intimate group of friends, or bring people together? Join lots of activities, or perfect a skill before moving onto something else?
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PS- Did you figure out the riddle in the photos?  They are out-takes from a community mural I did last summer.

20 thoughts on “gem garden

  1. Oh tough balance there! I guess depending on how many close friendships one is trying to maintain, it’s perfectly possible to meet new people, connect others, start new stuff AND still get to see the good old gold friends 🙂

  2. I really think that the answer to your question is different for every person at different points in their life. Personally, I tend to dive into one particular activity at a time with so much gusto that it is at the expense of everything else. But, depending upon the time in your life and activities involved, I think being involved in a bunch of activities at one time can be just as satisfying and productive. I say go with your intuition, it’s usually right and will create something bee-you-tea-ful 😉

  3. Beautiful!

    I am at a point where I wish it was easier to meet new people and make new friends. Although I love being home with my children, I do feel a little more lonely because I don’t converse with other adults as much as I used to when I was working full-time. After making some big changes in my life and choosing to explore new/old interests, I also feel a little lonely in this journey because the few close friends I do have are pursuing completely different interests. I think it’s great you have the ability to meet new people easily while also maintaining the current friendships you have. Life is a journey, and there are many people to meet. You never know who might end up being a lifelong friend or an acquaintance. Have fun with all of your adventures new and old! I love reading about them here!

  4. I think I’m more about finding solid/deep friendships with just a few close friends vs. Many friends and being spread very thin. That’s a tough one though…because I’ve always been extremely busy with activities, sports, clubs etc. and Iove being really involved. BUT I would say my friend group is small and intimate. I’m always open to meeting new people and love it, but I wouldn’t consider them a “friend” until we’ve become much closer. I feel that I’ve come to a point that I know exactly what I want in a good friend and some people you sorta “click” with whole others you just don’t. Has to be reciprocated. Also, I find we hang out mostly with couple friends since we’ve been married 🙂

  5. I think you should do what makes you happy as long as you aren’t stressing yourself out. I don’t think I mentioned it, but I really enjoy your blog. Every time I read one of your posts, it always makes me smile. I also noticed you don’t have a join this site button. Have you considered adding one?

  6. Girl, you are better than me. I have only 3 commitments right now, and I’m about to go crazy from it all! Sometimes I just want to quit everything and just be. But then I’d be bored 2.5 seconds later. So I guess it’s whatever makes you happy!

  7. Knowing that I am in a phase of life in which I’m about to move somewhere new, I’m all for joining as many things as possible and meeting new people, making new friends. And then, if you find that some things are a better fit than others, there’s always time to pare down the activities later, so you can fill that time with new opportunities. 🙂

  8. I have to find the right balance- I love meeting new people, but hate feeling like I’m neglecting a friendship because I’m stretched too thin/don’t have enough time.

    PS you are too cute in these photos. Super spring-mode! 🙂

    -Ashley
    http://lestylorouge.com

  9. Bee-you-tea-full riddle! 🙂

    I like to be involved in a lot of stuff and with a variety of people, but I tend to keep them separate. Like those kids plates with the little dividers, keeping all food in its area and away from the other food. I don’t know why I do that….

    Email me about Junior League! I have a JL friend here who is moving back to Minnesota and is debating transferring to either the Minneapolis or St. Paul chapter.

  10. I have the same tendency as you. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the varying things that interest you! It does make it harder to do them all right though, but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing 🙂

  11. BEE-YOU-TEA-FULL! I love it! I wouldn’t have noticed it, though, if you hadn’t asked, haha! Very cute. 🙂

    Most of my life I have always had a huge group of friends. I always had my go-to besties, but outside that I have always been part of everything (kind of like you are describing). As life has gotten busier and I’ve become more settled in my community here in Memphis I’ve found myself drifting away from that a little bit and settling more into working on growing stronger friendships with a few best friends. I am still friendly to everyone, talk to strangers, and hang out when an acquaintances asks, but I try to be better to focus more of my energy on maintaining the close friendships I have. 🙂

  12. I go through phases – winter? I’m cool with my friends & the stuff I have going on. Spring/summer? Bring everything on. I want to do ALL the things. 🙂

  13. Such a good question- I enjoyed reading the comments. I used to jam as much in as possible, it’s just in the last year or so that I would agree with Jon more. I so appreciate those few close friends that I can share my life with… but I wouldn’t give up my activities and new friends either 🙂

  14. I am a mix of the two of you, I think. I love making new friends, but probably don’t join as many clubs as I could….I think about joining, but life takes over sometimes! =)
    beautiful!!! =)

  15. Ahh we are so much alike in this way. I too love trying all of the things and talking to all of the people. I try really hard not to overbook but fail sometimes lol. This last month of pregnancy has been forcing me to relax a bit, which has actually been kind of nice because I would never do it on my own haha. Love the pictures by the way! Bee-you-tea-full! 😀

  16. Cute mural!!! I find that enjoy making lots of friends too, but I try to make sure that the the few friends that are MOST important always receive a significant amount of my time and never feel neglected. Acquaintances and not so close friends won’t be upset if you can’t always make the group hangouts, so make sure to spend time with those who will notice your absence.

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