strawberry bliss

An extra-large pizza in the bed, Kinzie by our side, and Louis CK comedy on the TV.  Our night fell together haphazardly, but it couldn’t have been more perfect.  Jon came home exhausted from a week in Wisconsin, and so we ordered Galactic Pizza (they deliver the best pie in Minneapolis while dressed in superhero costumes), and scanned Amazon for something that would keep us laughing until bedtime.  We talked about this and that, wished we could be as funny as Louis CK, and washed the pizza down with homemade lemonade.  Bliss.
I recently read that it takes 10 happy memories to negate 1 negative experience.  The good news, however, is that you can ‘save up’ good experiences to help make future conflict seem less severe.  I’m probably not going to fault Jon much after a perfect date night, right?
Thinking about conflict made me wonder how else we can minimize bickering.  I searched Google for “relationship conflict,” hit the “feeling lucky” button, and found Close Encounters: Communication in Relationships.  Thank you, Google, that was exactly what I wanted.
I opened the link and learned, “most spouses have between one and three arguments per week, with at least one argument per month being particularly uncomfortable.”  Oy vey, right?  Better learn how to fight right.  And, lucky for me, the author explained how: she suggested engaging in conflicting rather than avoiding it, and seeking compromise rather than being defensive.
The happiest couples subscribe to The Accommodation Principle, and seek to “accept and recognize faults rather than retort and defend behavior.”  So, for instance, if Jon criticized me for being messy, I should say, “I can see how you would think that, and I suppose it’s true – what should we do about it?”
Wish I had read this book along with Biology 101 and History of America.  A little more useful than knowing Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492 and SnO2 + H2 → Sn + 2 H2O.  Gotta know how to keep the bedroom pizza parties coming.

On another note: what should I do with those strawberries?

Like the graphics? Check out the Rhonna Designs app 🙂

13 thoughts on “strawberry bliss

  1. I love your constant desire to grow together as a couple, that’s the way it should be done! Your date night sounds so wonderful. I would chop those strawberries into some banana strawberry muffins, or a PIE!

  2. I love when unexpected and unplanned events help you stumble upon little nuggets of wisdom like you have uncovered 😉 I have learned that proper arguing, and more importantly effective communication, is as important to my marriage as it is to teaching my son by example.

    As far as the strawberries, I would go with a fondue pot filled with milk chocolate, a little rum flambéed into it, strawberries dipped in it with a bottle of champagne and two flute glasses on the side 😉

  3. ““most spouses have between one and three arguments per week, with at least one argument per month being particularly uncomfortable.”” — This is so surprising + I’m glad it doesn’t apply to my relationship. I would be exhausted from arguing 1-3 times a week! I love the information you found about improving communication + growing as a couple 🙂

    PS – The strawberries look delicious + Louis CK is such a good show!

  4. 🙂 Yes! We all have to learn how to argue “the right away” because it happens and actually does need to happen even in healthy relationships. I always like to think of it as, “we care enough to still argue” instead of “ignoring” things 🙂 and btw Love Louis CK 🙂

  5. First of all, your pizza in bed night sounds like my perfect evening 🙂 Second of all, I love the idea of learning how to fight right–especially with those stats! We’ll never escape conflict in life so learning how to deal with it in a healthy and productive way will probably make everyone happier in the end!

  6. I love that you keeping helping me add books to me must-read list. Also, GORGEOUS STRAWBERRY PHOTOS. I’m wondering the same thing about all those peaches I picked last weekend. I’m sure we’ll both come up with some yummy ideas 😉

  7. We went strawberry picking this week and had a strawberry shortcake party and invited our neighbors and family last night, so that’s an option! 🙂
    Learning how to do conflict well is a very good skill–my Mom does counseling and mentoring and she thinks that handing conflict is one of the #1 skills she would recommend teaching young people because it’s so real and so needed.

  8. Those argument statistics are pretty interesting, and I feel a lot more normal knowing that! Conflict resolution is definitely important and important to work on!

  9. I will not even count our argument statistic..LOL. It would be awful if my husband crept up to me and asked if something was wrong, should i stop biting his head off on itty-bitty stuff..but in all fun :). Arguments are a necessary gives you a perspective that helps in the long run..
    Now coming to the strawberry picking! I love them berries!! aaah..

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