make some happy

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I just wanna wear jumpers and jump around the puddles. Or overalls and run over all the hills.  What about shorts and sit behind the shortstop? Am I going too far with this, or should I make a silly about a skirt?

Thing is, I have an overwhelming urge to stick my toes in the mud and walk across the creek.  I want the sun to shine so bright that I can swim in the lake and sip sweet lemonade.  Imagine bare legs tanning and light freckles emerging under the endless summer sky.
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But perhaps I’m jumping too far ahead?  Shouldn’t I be more excited for the spring that keeps promising to come?  The spring, of course, is when everyone is hopeful.  The flowers begin to bloom and people everywhere are excited about picnics at the park and walks by the river and bike rides at the lake.

My imagination is getting the better of me on this cold winter’s day.  To get over my winter blues, I bought myself some ice cream and flowers.  Gotta make your own happy, right?
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Speaking of creating happy – Matt Richardson emailed me about a KickStarter campaign he’s doing for his new greeting card business, Gramr Gratitude.  Matt founded Gramr Gratitude to encourage people to become happier by writing handwritten letters.  The idea that practicing gratitude makes us happier is nothing new, but Matt designed his company so that saying “hello” and “thank you” and “you’re so kind” is not only easy, but fun.

Gramr Gratitude inspired me to do a random act of happiness centered around, you guessed it, thankfulness.  I put together a pre-paid greeting card and left it for a stranger.
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master plan

joy
What do you want to be when you grow up?  The standard elementary school question makes us think about the future so that we can start working toward our career goals.

But why all the emphasis on what we want to be?  Wouldn’t we be better off considering who we want to spend our days with, how we want to impact our community, where we want to live, and why we want one job more than another?

I recently read an article in the New York Times calling for a new definition of success – one that focuses less on tangible things like money and fame – and places more emphasis on things like personal satisfaction and enjoyment.  The author believes we need a new vocabulary for the way we talk about accomplishment, and says that “we should have an expression that captures the level of success you’ve achieved when you do exactly what you love every day.”

Would rounding out ‘what we are’ with information about ‘who we are,’ ‘where we are,’ and ‘how we are’ help create a more well-rounded definition of success?  It seems to me that you’re already successful if you’re doing what you love and remaining true to your values.

Maybe we’re not all going to end up astronauts or CEOs or surgeons, but we just might find ourselves working on enjoyable projects or pursuing something meaningful – and isn’t that a success in its own right?

itsy-bitsy-one-in-a-million

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Post-op conversations with the doctor sent my mind whirling like a mathematical maelstrom.  There was a 1 in 1,5000 (.07%) chance that I would have gotten sick (due to a precondition).   If I were a betting girl, I would pretty quickly jump on an opportunity to place $20 on the odds that I would be 1 of the 1,499 (99.93%) that remained healthy.  

So when the doctor warned me that there was a 1% chance that the surgery was unsuccessful, I started to shake.  I’m over-reacting, right?  I mean, there is a 99% chance that I’ll be absolutely okay.  Problem is, the last time I played the odds I ended up being part of the ‘less than 1%’ that gets sick. A big loss.

The odds don’t mean as much when you’re part of the itsy-bitsy-one-in-a-million bad luck club.  In different words, yesterday was the day that statistics lost their importance.  It doesn’t matter if the chances are 1 in 500,000,000 if you’re the unlucky one, right?

I returned home anxious about the 1% chance that I would need further treatment.  What I wanted, more than anything, was a healthy diagnosis.  I wanted the doctor to promise  that I would be okay.  Is that too much to ask?

Needless to say, the past couple days have been filled with trying moments that make staying positive more difficult than usual.   I started paying close attention to the little things that make me feel better, and when friends offered suggestions for cheering up, I wrote everything down.  Below, I’m sharing my thoughts on making a difficult day a little more cheerful.  My hope is that the list will find someone that could use a smile.

1.  Get social.  Fill your calendar with dates to see family and close friends.  Being around the people that care about you the most is crucial.  These are the people that know how to make you laugh but are just as comfortable sitting by your side in silence. Knowing that you have relationships strong enough to weather good times and bad is reason enough to feel just a bit better.

2.  Plan a night out.  This might seem like the last thing you need, but simply showing up and being open to a positive experience will brighten your mood.  Take a shower, wear your favorite outfit, and try to notice how the little things – your favorite dinner, a funny film, a great conversation – add up to a truly wonderful night.  

3.  Phone a friend.  Sounds a bit like Who Wants to be a Millionaire, right?  The logic of calling your nearest and dearest in times of uncertainty holds true in times of hardship.  Friends know your history and your current situation, and they’re able to quickly remind you of your blessings.  Close friends have seen you through the good times and they’re ready and waiting when you need a pep talk, someone to cry with, or a bit of advice.

4.  Indulge.  Go ahead and enjoy your favorite treat.  It’s a cliché that girls reach for a large pint of ice cream after a breakup, but sweet treats are a proven way to feel good fast.  Love chocolate chip cookies?  Great, have one, and think about how something as simple as chocolate can make you smile.  It’s all about recognizing the little things.

5.  Get active.  This step becomes particularly important if you’ve spent a lot of time on #4.  Personally, I find that a long run or a yoga session helps clear my head pretty quickly.  A bonus? The positive effects last much longer than the time spent on the treadmill or the yoga mat.

6.  Laughter is the best medicine.  We know this instinctively and the advice is as timeless as the old ‘apple a day keeps the doctor away.’  Sitcoms, Improv and sketch comedy are quick ways to get a fast laugh.  If you’re lucky, you can also just cozy up to the goofballs, class clowns and comedians that you call friends.  

7.  Sing in the shower.  Have you ever seen someone upset singing in the shower?  Is it even possible to be sad while singing in the shower?  I sort of doubt it.  I wonder if that is why people are told to sing in the rain?  When everything is falling down around you, blast some jams and sing it out.  If you’re me, this means listening to 90’s pop/rap and belting out the tunes of your childhood.  You, however, can interpret this any way you want.  The important thing is that you’re listening to tunes that elevate your mood.

8.  Play with your pet.  Don’t have one?  Borrow one.  A study in the American Journal of Cardiology found that spending time with animals is an effective way to lower stress levels.  Still skeptical? The University of Louisville brings therapy dogs to campus to help students remain calm during finals.

9.  Catch some zzzz’s.  Put on your pajamas, turn off the lights, and shut down your mind. Are you familiar with the saying that everything is better in the morning?  It’s the truth.  The thing is, sleep gives your mind time to process the things that are happening to you.  With any luck, a good rest will leave you feeling more in control of the events in your life.

10.  Take a walk.  Thoreau said that an early morning walk is like a prayer for the entire day.  I ‘Thoreauly’ agree, but I go a step further and say that walking has great value at all hours of the day.  A long walk might make your feet ache, but it’s likely to leave your mind feeling rejuvenated, refreshed, and reset.

11.  Clean.  I’ll do just about anything to avoid cleaning on a good day.  Who has time for chores when you’re visiting friends, baking cakes and celebrating birthdays?  No one.  When things around you begin to feel less than steady, however, I’m going to suggest you grab the broom, load the dishwasher, and dust the shelves.  Removing the clutter from your surroundings will allow you to focus your attention on internal issues.  

12.  Get au naturel.  Hehe. That was a little joke.  Get naked if you want, but what I’m trying to suggest is that you get outside and commune with nature.  Might sound hippy-ish for some, but contemplating the grandeur of nature will provide a reminder of our small place in the universe.  Swim the sea, hike the mountains and explore the woods.  It will feel good, I promise.

13.  Do something for someone else.  Investing your time and energy in another human being almost always provides a positive return.  Thinking about others allows us to turn our attention away from our own problems and focus on improving life for someone else.  Does a friend need a ride to the airport? Take them.  Know someone that could use help with a big move?  Bring over boxes.

14.  Plan for the future.  Studies show that the anticipation of an event can be just as enjoyable as the event itself — so why not start making some plans for the future?  Happy plans, that is.  Always wanted to take a trip?  Now is a great time to make it happen.  Give yourself a good long time to think about where to go, what to eat, and whom to have by your side.

15.  Remember a sad time.  This sounds illogical, right?  No matter, scientist Sonja Lubomirsky conducted an experiment that had students record past experiences into a tape recorder for 15 minutes each day for 3 weeks.  Group A spent 3 weeks reflecting on a positive experience while Group B spent the same time remembering a negative experience.  Lubomirsky’s research demonstrated that the students who spent time processing a negative event became happier over the 3 week study, and the students who reflected on a happy event ended up feeling less fulfilled by the end of the experiment. 

16.  Recall a happy memory.   Sappy, I know, but the same study as mentioned in #15 found that people can increase their happiness level by spending a few minutes contemplating a happy event in their lives.  Immediately after, they should think about how their lives would be different if the same event had never occurred.  An easy way to reflect on our most important blessings. 

17.  Cry it out.  There isn’t any scientific research to credit this recommendation, but it works for me.  Instead of bottling-up your emotions, allow yourself time to feel sad or anxious or confused. Then, just as patiently, notice how the sadness leaves and becomes something else entirely.  Each emotion has a lifespan.  The pain will eventually pass. 

18.  Practice gratitude.  Make a list of your blessings and hang it somewhere as a daily reminder of the things that make you feel grateful or happy.  If the list includes people, take a moment to let them know how much they mean to you.  If you need proof that this step works, watch this video.

19.  Be silly.  You’re probably wondering how something as important as silliness lands at #19.  It’s definitely a questionable numbering system given the importance of letting yourself be quirky and unique and weird and/or whatever it is that makes you perfectly you.  Need inspiration?  Check out Mrs. Natalie.

20.  Change the scene.  Just like a scene changes in a film, change the scene in your life to something more enjoyable.  Sound complicated? It’s not.  I’m not suggesting anything drastic, but it might help to try something new that changes your current mindset.  Visit a foreign place or start an interesting book or try a new hobby.  Whatever it is, the experience will inspire new thinking, and, hopefully, replace some of the negative thoughts in your head.

21.  Got game?  If only for a short while, make your worst problem going to jail without collecting $200.  An hour or two of hotel strategy will give you something new to think about, and since you can’t do this on your own, you’re also fulfilling step #1.  

22.  Make handmade.  Take your attention off your thoughts and focus on creating something new.  Bake a cake.  Build a bookshelf.  Paint a picture.  Whatever it is, allow yourself to focus on the act of creation.    

23.  Have hope.  I’m not suggesting that you start wishing upon stars and dandelions and eyelashes.  What I am suggesting, however, is that tomorrow is a new day with  new opportunities.  In my experience, it’s often surprising how quickly everything can change for the better. 

25.  Mantra.  Do you have a personal mantra that keeps you authentic?  Something that helps you navigate through difficult times and decisions?  Mine is a derivation of a Goethe quote: “Always be willing to sacrifice the things that matter least for the things that matter  most.”  The simple mantra reminds me to rank my affairs in order of importance.  When things get tough, I ask myself whether anything important is at stake, and, if not, I don’t waste energy on the issue.  If, on the other hand, something crucial is at risk, I devote my utmost attention to getting things back on track.  Priorities, priorities, priorities. 

27.  Fresh blooms.  Saturday mornings are best spent biking to the farmer’s market for flowers, bread, and cheese.  The new purchases get put in my wicker basket, and then I picnic at the lake with my husband.  The bread and cheese usually disappear at the picnic, but the flowers remain on my kitchen table for at least a week.  Without fail, I smile each time I pass the large and colorful bouquet.  The lesson?  Fresh blooms are a simple way to guarantee a smile. 

28.  Surprise!  Surprises are at the top of my list of things that make me happy.  Just knowing that someone conspired to make me smile provides instant happiness.  And the only thing better than being surprised? Planning a surprise for someone that I love. 

29.  Volunteer.  When we volunteer, we focus our attention on the well-being of others, and the activity helps us feel more connected to our community.  Jordan Grafman, neuroscientist at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, published a study suggesting that philanthropy provides the same high as eating chocolate cake or winning at the blackjack table.  Philanthropy just feels that good.  

30.  Be happy for a friend.  Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky researches the nature of human happiness, particularly why some people are happier than others, and how we can train ourselves to be more happy in general.  She identities an individual’s response to social comparison as a key factor for determining their personal happiness.  Her work suggests that someone who consistently compares themselves to others will be less happy than an individual who focuses their attention inward.  Furthermore, happy people are more likely to celebrate the success and good fortune of their friends, while unhappy people are more likely to feel jealous of their friends.

31. Think happy.  Ronald Dahl says that “if you think kind thoughts your face will light up and you will always look lovely.”  I tend to agree.  I take it a step further, however, and think that if you act according to those thoughts then you will actually be lovely.  Actions speak louder than words, right?  Focus your attention on making the world around you a better place, and, with any luck, it will slowly become that way.  Change your thoughts and change your life.

32. Appreciate small things.  Adaptation Theory suggests that seemingly negative and positive events don’t affect our happiness as much as we would expect.  Something absolutely wonderful, like winning the lottery or marrying your sweetheart, for example, will make all ordinary pleasures less exciting by comparison. Eventually, the theory maintains, you will return to your initial state of happiness.  The theory also works in reverse, where if something terrible happens, like a paralyzing accident, you will begin to be more grateful for small things, and, eventually, you will grow accustomed to the pain that once troubled you.  Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how good things are around us– what matters is our ability to appreciate them. 

33.  Build compassion.  My experience with suffering has taught me that supportive social networks can improve our lives and make us happier.  Sharing our stories of hardship and happiness allows us to connect with the people around us.  We’re not meant to go through this life alone, and each of our experiences connect us to people with similar backgrounds.  When you’re suffering, know that you’re not alone, and hope that your story will one day make someone else feel more connected.

happy contagion

The pursuit of happiness is a bit selfish, right? Well, no, not really.  Happy individuals are more likely to contribute to society, and their joy is capable of increasing the happiness of community members.  Does the logic sound sketchy?  Here are some facts:

  • Personal suffering takes up a lot of time and energy.  It’s difficult to think about the concerns of the community until you’re comfortable with your own situation.   Happy people, by contrast, are less concerned with their own well-being, and more likely to spend time solving social problems.  Scientists have confirmed a link between happiness and volunteerism.  It seems happy people are consistently looking to give back to the community that fulfills them.  You know the saying misery loves company? Well so does happiness. When you’re happy, you want to share your joy with the people around you.
  • Scientists have confirmed that the happiest people are social creatures that are actively involved in the lives of the people around them.  Surprised?  As a category, social people are more likely to be happy than individuals with hefty bank accounts, regular exercise regimens, or rewarding careers.  A strong social network ensures that we’re aware of the needs of the people around us.  Your sister is going to the airport?  Offer her a ride.  A friend is nervous about a doctor appointment?  Tag along for moral support.
  • Happiness is contagious (emotional contagion) and simply being happy increases the joy of the people around you.  You know about the yawn effect, right?  You yawn and then suddenly the people around you are yawning too?  Well emotions, including happiness, work in a similar way.   Notably, social scientists have confirmed that happiness extends to 3 degrees of separation – that means that your happiness is capable of increasing the happiness of your sister, your sister’s friend, and your sister’s friend’s mom.  Incredible, right?  What’s more, if you’re going through a slump, having a network of happy people increases your chances of becoming happy in the future.  Investing in happy friends almost seems like an insurance policy for a happy future, right?

If being happy is key to increasing the happiness of others, then it almost seems like a duty to make ourselves happy, right?  What little things do you do to increase your own happiness?

you got this

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It’s a tale as old as time that our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness.  I found that to be particularly true for my rah rah rah projects, where everything I do to make others happy is inspired by something that I would like to happen to me.  

For instance, I’m absolutely terrible about carrying cash — I tend to spend it like wildfire (these green things? get them out of my purse!), and so I avoid carrying it at all costs.  The downside of this is that everytime I pass a vending machine I’m forced to stare longingly at the delicious candies, soda pops and all other types of sugary-goodness.  Sigh.  
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To help others with a similar problem, I placed little pouches of $1.25 on the machine with a note that simply said “random acts of happiness” (a gorgeous design by Sarah).  

My hope is that someone with a very large sweet-tooth and a strong aversion to carrying cash passes the machine and realizes that they can finally choose anything they want (yes yes yes.. the most expensive item is $1.25 so I got you!!)
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In the spirit of remembering to treat yo’ self, I used some of my extra change to get a Reese’s.  Aww, modern convenience.. watching the peanut-buttery-chocolate-goodness slide out of the machine and into my hands almost made me rethink my decision to avoid cash. 
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Maybe I’m responsible enough to carry cash without tossing it in the air like a parade?  Should I try it out? What do you think?  Do you carry cash?

sip swirl clink

wish

I love when other people share good news, and I’ve always found it puzzling that society refers to this as “bragging.” What’s wrong with talking about our joys and sharing our happiness? If you ask me, nothing. Feel free to ring me when you win the lottery or fall in love – I’m going to want the details.

You know what else?  I want to hear about your struggles and hardship, too.  People are not meant to go through life alone, and when we share stories of pain, we remind people in similar situations that they are not alone.

Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky at the University of California, Riverside, researches the nature of human happiness, particularly why some people are happier than others, and how we can train ourselves to be more happy in general. She identifies an individual’s response to social comparison as a key factor for determining their personal happiness.

Her work suggests that happy people are more likely to celebrate the success and good fortune of their friends, while unhappy people are more likely to feel jealous of their nearest and dearest.

Instead of comparing our differences, let’s celebrate them, and each of us can begin to push each other onward and upward.

And, what’s more, we’ll all be a little happier as a result : )

out of the blue

Unexpected pleasures stop us in our tracks and remind us that life is good.  These bits of joy disrupt our day as a reminder to enjoy the moment and focus on the little things.  A welcome distraction, right?  Street art is a simple way to send an inspiring message to the masses, and the distraction from daily activities is almost always appreciated.

To get in on the action, I planned a small street art project of my own.  Without the innovation, budget or scope of the artists above (click on the pictures to learn more about their artwork) I still figured I could make my neighbors smile by ‘eye-bombing’ inanimate objects.  What do you think?  Is my silly little project worth a smile?
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smile on a stick

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Candy apple on a stick makes my tummy go 2-4-6.  I spent loads of playground time singing the candy apple song with my elementary school crew, but I hadn’t thought about the hand-clapping anthem for nearly 15 years when it popped into my head today.  What was the occasion?  A rah rah rah experiment aptly titled ‘smile on a stick.’

I just might have discovered the fastest way to make a stranger smile:
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All my smiles came from spending a gorgeous day in St. Paul with Lyda Ham.  She’s a talented Twin Cities photographer with lots of heart and just as many laughs.  Oh, and good news — Lyda writes a lovely blog of her own, and you can read all about her adventures here
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stop drop kaboom

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It was the best of times and it was the, no wait, full stop.  It was simply the best of times.  I wish I could report on an uber-exciting weekend, but, alas, I spent all of Friday & Saturday helping Jon recover from the flu.  Instead of donning a costume or visiting friends, I made chicken noodle and caught up on Shark Tank with my favorite man.  Side note: does anyone else love that show?

Come Sunday morning, however, I was up and at um’ for some rah rah rah action.  My game plan? Bring sweet treats and thank you notes to the local firemen at Station 8.
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I expected to ring the bell, drop the treats and be on my way.  A quick and easy gift to make the men smile, and then poof bam be gone.  The firemen were so grateful for the chocolates, however, that they invited me inside to the see the engine.  I got a little excited about that, and, before you know it, I was stomping around in a fire suit learning the tricks of the trade (hot tip: always leave a little skin exposed when entering a fire so that you are cognizant of the rising temperate – if your skin starts to burn, get out.)
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I got a tour of the kitchen, and I was impressed with the spread of pancakes, bacon, eggs, donuts, and sausage on the table.  The firemen explained that they always did a big Sunday brunch together, and that they all take turns cooking.  Kind of like a family, right?
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The tour ended at the firehouse dorms where 21 men sleep in shifts.   A fireman made a joke about the exposed pillows, and then his station mate explained that they are always short on pillowcases.   So, can you guess what I’m doing? Organizing a pillowcase-drive with my apartment building.  A very near random act of happiness will involve returning to this fire station with loads of linens.

Kaitlyn and Sarah spread some joy to public officers with their own rah rah rah project in Milwaukee.  Head over to their blog, TheDuck&TheOwl, to read about how they spread happiness throughout their corner of the Midwest.

urban happiness

What role does geography play in our happiness?  Can we increase our happiness by changing our zip code?  The journalist Charles Montgomery studies how urban design affects human happiness, and he believes that we can manufacture joy through the urban landscape.   Specifically, he believes that we can “redesign our cities, our minds, and our own behaviors”…  “to build a city that is more convivial, more fair, more fun, and more happy.”

Montgomery offers a number of ways to make the city more fun, and my favorite suggestion is starting conversations in elevators.   He recognizes our inclination for personal space,  but he believes that the benefits of a good conversation outweigh the potential awkwardness : “Even a casual conversation with strangers has the potential to flood your system with feel-good hormones. Go ahead. Talk about the weather.”

I decided to encourage chatter by hanging conversation starters in elevators.  I’m not sure that anyone will answer the questions, per se, but perhaps they will chat about why someone hung silly paper all over the place.  Either way, mission accomplished. ImageImageImageImageImageImageSpeaking of urban happiness, I’m planning another rah rah rah project with my friends Kaitlyn and Sarah (TheDuck&TheOwl), and we want you to join us.  Are you up for it?

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The plan is to spread happiness to the public heroes that make our lives better every single day.  Grateful for the librarians that keep the bookshelves stocked?  Thankful for the firemen that continuously defend the city?  Let’s show our appreciation by giving them goodie bags filled with sweet treats and thank you notes.

I plan to spread happiness in Minneapolis, and Kaitlyn and Sarah will bring smiles to Milwaukee.   We’re both planning to blog about the project on Monday, and we’d love to read about how other bloggers got involved.  If you choose to participate, send us a link (in the comment section of the post) so that everyone can read about your random act of happiness.  Ready, set, RAH!