king me

My clock blinked 7am and I realize it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  The early morning events didn’t influence me directly, but whenever Jon’s luck turns for the worst, I’m in the passenger seat.  

Jon works two days a week in Wisconsin, and when these days role around, he wakes up long before the crack of dawn to drive 2 hours to his ‘country’ office (Mondovi, Wisconsin – town of 2,000).  Yesterday, just after waking, he couldn’t find his car, assumed it was towed, and took mine for the long drive to work.  He phoned the impound during the drive, and he quickly learned that they didn’t have his car.  

He turns around and comes home to file a ‘stolen car report.’  It’s now 6:50am.  Luckily, I’m taking Kinzie on her morning walk, and I notice Jon’s Jeep parked on the street.  Odd, right?  I call and ask what’s wrong with his car (why else would he take mine?)  Can you imagine the relief in his voice?  Problem solved, he realizes he parked 2 streets away from where he thought he parked, and there really isn’t a crisis at all.  Phew.  

My sweet husband made it to work on time, and I felt so awful about his hectic morning, that I designed that ‘Goodness, I love you more than” graphic at the top of this page.  Whenever he’s frustrated or tired or upset, I try and do little things to boost his mood.  Did you know a 30 percent increase in one spouse’s happiness will boost the other spouse’s happiness?  It works the other way too, so if one spouse has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, then their partner will catch the mood.  

I had some important stuff to tell you in this post, and I’ve left it all for the bottom.  Oops.  Thing is, I taught Jon to play checkers last weekend, and it was even more fun than when I played at summer camp in 1995.  I hadn’t played in nearly 15 years, and so I taught him the wrong way, and we only figured it out when none of our players could move.  We ended up reading all the rules together, and then playing 4 rounds to declare a true tie.

We got ice cream after the game, and Jon commented that our checker strategies are the opposite of our real-life strategies: in the game, I think slowly and rationalize every move, while Jon moves quickly, crosses his fingers, and hopes for the best.  In this real world of ours?  I’m quick to jump and Jon likes a 15359-point plan before making a move.

PS – Is post-script allowed in blogs?  I hope so!  Anyway, we finally wrote our initials in something — I’ve been waiting for the right moment, and when I saw the Jenga set with names scrawled across the tops and sides, I knew the moment had come.  See the JP+JP up there? That’s us 🙂  Do me a favor and don’t tell the owner?

pulse and flow

Whisper this, shout that, and make sure everyone hears the good news as quickly as possible.  Call it excitement, but whenever I hear something funny, touching, or honest, I’m anxious to share the announcement with my nearest and dearest. 

There is something oh-so soul-satisfying in sitting down (with coffee + macaroons) to ask: Did you know? If yes, what do you think? And, most importantly, what do we do about it?

When Jon starts to snore and my mind is still racing, I watch TED to see musicians, chefs, entrepreneurs and other creatives talk about the issues closest to their heart.  I’ve seen hundreds of TED talks over the years, and it’s becoming increasingly rare that I’m inspired enough to wake Jon to see something I just watched.

You can probably predict where this is going, but last night I saw Sarah Lewis speak about ‘the near win.’  Have you heard about the value of continuously coming in second, third, or even fourth place?

Sarah presents a compelling case for near-wins being more soul-satisfying than all-out victories.  When we pursue a task for the innate value of the activity, we’re more likely to appreciate process over product, ‘excitement over exterior labels,’ and learning over perfection.

The near-win generates a mindset of flow and compulsion that drives us forward.  When we can see the finish line on the horizon, we’re more likely to sprint and push to make sure we get there.

A bit like the popular Sigmund Freud quote, “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”

public declaration

I get all kinds of excited when I discover initials carved into a willow tree, picnic table or sidewalk fence.  It’s romantic, yes, but it’s also a reminder that two people wanted the entire world to know that E+M= ♥.

My camera swings around my neck when I’m hiking mountains, exploring neighborhoods, or simply trying a new restaurant.  When I spot initials, I have a ‘this is why I lug my camera around’ moment and snap snap snap away at the design.

I’m smitten with simple gestures to public display affection, but, for all that sentiment, I’ve never left my own mark.  Perhaps more tellingly, it’s never even crossed my mind that I would spend time etching and scratching JP²=♥ .

But why not?  I suppose the politically correct response is that I don’t want to deface public property or damage natural resources.  The more honest answer, however, is that I’m too busy taking pictures.

Which makes me wonder: is carving initials into trees and sidewalks and benches a thing of the past?  Has our public declaration of love moved onto Instagram and Facebook, or are there still sweethearts securing sharpies to tell the world they feel?

Have you ever carved your name somewhere?

take a spring break

I embody multiple daydreamer cliches – the student gazing out the window, the girl staring at the clouds, the classmate doodling in the margins, and the hiker gazing over the tree tops.  The daydreaming comes with a bit of absent-mindedness here and there, but I’m owning it with pride.  Thing is, daydreamers have also have a propensity for creativity, empathy and — this one is all my own — taking pictures.

The New Yorker expounds on the Virtues of Daydreaming for creatives, and the current issue of Psychology Today examines the direct relationship between daydreaming and empathy.  And the connection between photography and daydreaming? Well, that’s all my own – feel free to credit yours truly.

During graduate school, I used to leave the library and study alongside the shores of Lake Michigan.  I would read and write until I lost focus and started daydreaming about this that and the other.  The daydream almost always ended with a tourist tapping my back and asking me to take their picture.  

Before long, I found myself intentionally breaking to ask people if they wanted their photograph taken.  Have you ever asked a couple if they wanted a picture?  Or a family?  It’s a surefire way to make someone smile, and the question is almost always answered with an eager “yes yes – thank you!”

I didn’t take many photographs of myself back then– I’m not sure why, but I had this feeling that my moment was coming soon — it wasn’t here yet, but it would arrive before long.  Does that make sense?

We hiked a number of waterfalls this weekend, and each time we reached the peak I looked around for someone to take our picture.  I asked hikers and bystanders and doodlers if they would break for a moment and snap a photograph.  And you know what? It made me smile each time I did- it felt like whatever I’d been waiting for had finally arrived.

what matters most

A personality test got me thinking personal weaknesses and ways to overcome my shortcomings with strength and grace.  Since I’m prone to restlessnesses and instability, I’ve been meditating on goals and methods of making dreams into reality.  Seems cliche, I suppose, but when you’re prone to wandering and stumbling, it’s all the more important.

Reflection is important, yes, but how often do we sit down and write about what matters most?  You might have an idea of where you want to be in 5 or 10 years, but do you have goals or dreams hanging somewhere you can see them?  On the fridge or by the nightstand or tucked inside your pocket?

Today I sat down and wrote out my goals step-by-step.  It was a bit of a brainstorm at first, but what it simmered down to was simple and honest: I want to fill a small and beautiful home with a great big love.  A love so big, in fact, that it provides a resting place for anyone seeking shelter or hope.  A tall order for a small home, but I’m up for the challenge.

The goal might seem ambiguous, but it’s intended to help me focus on the things that matter most, and to let go of the things that are less important.  I made the above graphic to put words and images to my goal, and to remind me to keep focused and stay true.

Now tell me, what matters most to you?  Where do you fall on the personality quiz?

guilty pleasures

I hid it on the top shelf behind two dirty rags and a box marked ‘weights & stuff.’ Tonight, nothing was coming between me and Property Brothers.  Before long, however, my guilty conscious started screaming and I turned myself in: I stopped the treadmill and handed Jon the remote.

We’re that sickly-sweet couple that runs side-by-side on the treadmill and yells things like ‘race you’ and ‘keep going’ while offering up high-fives.  The gym routine is all cake-and-cream, but it becomes complicated when we’re sharing a TV screen.  

Jon wants to watch baseball or the news, and I want to watch Property Brothers or Top Chef.  Most times we debate back-and-forth until one of us gives in (I’ll let you shower first if …..) but Jon was late to the gym tonight and it occurred to me that we could skip the debate if the remote went missing….

Sweet Jon checked all the bikes and treadmills and stair-masters when he arrived at the gym.  Defeated, he told me that the remote was missing and we’d have to watch whatever was already on (Rehab Addict).  His whole search took about 10 seconds, but I felt guilty and told him to look on top of the bookcase behind the rags.  Jon grabbed the remote, smiled, and put on the Brewers vs. Pirates game.

Before he started running, Jon did Zoolander-type stretches that made me laugh so hard I almost fell off my treadmill.  No one else makes me laugh that way — the ‘lose control and grab your side and hope you don’t snort’ kinda way — and I realized that he could have the remote forever.  I like him that much.  

fast lane adventures

I wonder if people from my past would recognize me if we ran into each other in a bookstore.  Not a former roommate or an ex-boyfriend, the people who know my core, but someone that I sat by in class or knew from volleyball – an acquaintance, perhaps.

It’s not that my hair is different or I grew a size, but something indistinguishable to the eye has definitely changed.  I suppose this ‘person from the past’ would have to stop for a minute or seven to recognize the difference. 

I used to bill my time in 15-minute increments and fill my daily schedule with speed lunches and speed dates and back-to-back appointments.  Need something?  I have 30 minutes for so and so, 1 hour for X and Z, and then 15 minutes for this or that. 

Everything changed when I fell in love. Everything changed, everything changed.  I could say it 10,000 times to emphasize the vastness of the change.  I could shout it from rooftops and balconies and windows and mountains.  Thing is, it’s truly remarkable how little time it takes for your world to feel brand new.  So often we think that change is the result of hundreds of little actions, but that was not the case here: my change was instant.

Before Jon, my life was lived in a fast lane filled with adventures and jobs and boys and friends and merry-making.   They were good times, yes, but they all blended into one another in a happy-haze.  After meeting him, my world simmered down to such a slow saunter that I feared it would altogether stop.

Being with Jon feels so incredibly special that I want nothing more than to build a lifetime of memories with him.  All of a sudden, I have nowhere to be and nothing to do and everything feels just right.   

love goes round

“Girrrrl, you get around.”  Has anyone said that to you before?  Today was a first for me.  I was at the DMV getting my Minnesota license, and after the reviewer checked my information, he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said those somewhat creepy words.  More amused than angry, I wanted to know why I gave him that impression, and so I asked him what he meant.  His response? “Girl, you’ve lived in 5 states in 10 years — I’ve never seen that before – like I said, ya getta around.”

When he took my picture, I was wearing my brand new ‘wifey’ tee, and he commented that I was “all around original with that t-shirt and all my travels.”  I left the DMV thinking about original t-shirts and, before you know it, I drove myself straight to the fabric store to make something uniquely me.

What to do with the gorgeous greens and flaming reds and fancy florals?  A t-shirt that changes what you love based on where you stand:
Jon and I are going to Phoenix this Friday (just 2 days!) and I’m planning to get all kinds of use outta this top when I see my baby sister and my best friends.  Quick and easy way to show everyone the people and things I love, right?

forever grateful

Before we loved, they showed us how to hold a marriage together with kindness, trust and laughter.  Thank you.

cold hands, warm hearts

Let no love go unspoken. I’m a romantic about my love life, true, but I’m also a romantic in general: I’m in love with the sincerity of friendships, the loyalty of family, the pride of communities, the history of cultures, the transcendence of stories, and the beauty of nature.  That’s right, I’m pretty wrapped up in love.

Can you guess which holiday is my favorite?  Hint: It comes in February and encourages us to be grateful for the people we love.

Valentine’s Day gets a bad reputation from skeptics claiming the holiday is a consumer trap that alienates the lonely.  But that’s a pretty superficial description, isn’t it?

At it’s core, Valentine’s Day encourages us to reflect on the sources of love in our life, and then, in turn, speak out about that love.  Give sweet notes to your neighbors.  Bake cookies for your friends.  Let your children know they’re loved.  And, if you’re lucky, wrap your sweetheart in kisses.

The Wall Street Journal published an article about the benefits of instilling gratitude in young children.  The study found that people with a “strong appreciation of other others reported having higher GPAs, less depression and envy and a more positive outlook than less grateful teens.” 

In my book, Valentine’s Day offers an ideal opportunity for reflecting on gratitude and sharing our appreciation for the people that brighten our world every day.  


To get people thinking about ‘who they love’ (excuse the grammatical error, didn’t want to be stuffy about street art), I did a little Valentine’s Day inspired rah rah rah project.